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Archive for September, 2004

What I did on my Sickie Vacation

September 30th, 2004

I spent some of my sick day typing up my notes for Prague. They are at The Inaccurate Tourist, the travel log.

I also spent some time at WikiTravel updating Paris, mainly the monuments I went to go see with Thea and Craig.

I finished watching Firefly, and I was left wondering (1) how on earth did I never ever hear of this show while it was on TV? and (2) how on earth did it ever get cancelled? Honestly, it is/was some of the most original television that I’ve seen — which is particularly amazing because it deliberately uses some of the most clichéed clichées from the sci-fi and western genres.

I also watched the last episode of Seinfeld, which I hadn’t yet seen.

The rest of the time, I slept.

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Malade comme un Chien

September 29th, 2004

I’m a bit woozy from the cough syrup, so bear with me here.

I was feeling a bit “tickly” in the throat Monday, but I went into work and shook everybody’s hand, like usual. By the end of the day, I hurt all over, and was tired and congested. I went home to my current, wonderful guests Thea and Craig. I was supposed to meet the ever-amusing Rob that night — he’s travelling around Europe photographing hotels, and in Paris only for the two days. I had to cancel.

Tuesday, I woke up without the alarm clock and said to myself, “Ryan, you’re going to have to take a sick day.”

Calling into work, they informed me that I need to have my illness validated by a doctor. I knew that, but I was hoping I was a special case, since I’m Canadian, and therefore less fraudulent by nature. Unfortunately, it’s Policy and therefore immutable.

So I wobble out to the pharmacist, who directs me to the nearest doctor that takes unscheduled appointments (I made an oxymoron!). It was right beside my house, but I never noticed it because it looks like an apartment door. He was closed for training, but he left a note leading me to the next doctor.

She was also closed, but she didn’t leave a note. A woman sitting on the ground beside the door said that the doctor would be back at four. I’m pretty sure that I went to go do something for twenty minutes that involved me walking back up the street, but I can’t remember what it was.

Then I buzzed into the doctor’s office, which was actually a converted apartment among actual residential apartments. There wasn’t any receptionist, just a waiting room. So I waited. There were three people ahead of me, and it took an hour. At the last minute, I remembered that I had an excellent book in my pocket. Everyone looked at me jealously, and then it was my turn.

She told me that I was sick, that it was a virus, and contagious. She asked me how long I wanted to be off work. I initially said just the one day, but she suggested two days in case I felt equally bad tomorrow morning. I agreed, and said that if I felt better I could just go into work anyway.

She stopped me and said that no, if I have a work stoppage note for two days, I am obligated to take the two days. I could get into trouble by going onto work premises, and that I wouldn’t be covered by either company or state medical insurance if anything happened.

Good thing anyway, because it’s the next day (Wednesday) and I feel just as crappy. I’m downing the French cough syrup, which is delicious (I’m not being sarcastic). It’s a delightful vanilla/caramel flavour that would taste great on crepes. The French know how to cook!

I’m going back to bed now.

Wait, I remember what I did while waiting for the doctor to open — I went to the post office to complain that sometimes mail (especially packages) doesn’t seem to make it to my place. Their defence was “there’s no reason why it shouldn’t.” And that’s all that she would say or do. That’s also standard Policy and immutable.

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Firefox Astounds Me!

September 24th, 2004

Alright, the Czech chocolate bar contest is over. My Firefox advocacy will only surface when I have something new to say.

Like now. Firefox has the 1.0 Preview Release out. That means that it’s nearly out of beta. No new features are to be added, and no major bugs are expected, and it’s clear sailing to the next version.

Five seconds after installing Firefox 1.0PR, I noticed a funny box in the browser status bar, which said RSS. You may remember RSS as one of the syndication formats that I discussed here, here and here.

Any blog that provides an RSS feed will have this button on the bottom, and when you click on it, it creates a majick folder in your bookmarks which will automatically contain all of the recent posts on that blog. As the blog updates, so does the majick folder.

Do you see? Do you get it? Isn’t that pure ingenuity? Aren’t you amazed?

Hmm, I’ll open the Czech chocolate bar contest for just long enough for Snowy P. Cat to switch — there’s one particularly Czech chocolate bar that was conceived just for you. I don’t mean to threaten, but I’m particularly concerned for your immortal soul under Internet Explorer, and I’m just crazy enough to eat that damn chocolate bar myself. So help me.

Tin Foiled Technology

Commentary Track #13

September 24th, 2004

This post relates to Gilman’s Model: The Fotonovel.

ALAIN: The action builds to a fury here.

RYAN: I have to go to the bathroom, be right back!

ALAIN: Is he gone? Ryan?

ALAIN: Thank god. Let me say that the action does NOT build to a fury here. It plods along with the apathetic distaste of a spoiled French poodle being fed an improperly stirred McFlurry.

ALAIN: (pause) That’s right. Hem and haw my magnificent words as if they were sodden hairballs.

ALAIN: (pause) I mean, really. Can’t he even point at a door with some semblance of elan? Geoffrey is carrying this scene alone, and even our thespian gargantuan is struggling under the insipidity of that dragweight.

ALAIN: (pause) Is he even thinking about the movie? Or is he still too preoccupied with scoring goofballs to behop himself up on? He’s like a marionette made of flaccid old porkchops, half the strings cut.

RYAN: I’m back.

ALAIN: Did you wash your hands?

RYAN: (pause) I’ll be right back.

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The Indefeasible Rights of Readers

September 21st, 2004

(translated from Daniel Pennac’s Comme un roman)

1. The right to not read.
2. The right to skip pages.
3. The right to not finish a book.
4. The right to reread.
5. The right to read anything.
6. The right to bovaryism (a textually transmitted disease).
7. The right to read anywhere.
8. The right to glean.
9. The right to read out loud.
10. The right to remain silent.

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Czech HTML Entities

September 20th, 2004

If you were writing HTML and you wanted to add an accented character, you can use an HTML entity — é comes out as é, ô comes out as ô and ç comes out as ç. Hooray for French!

Unfortunately, some of the Czech letters live as second class citizens. Can you see all of the following: á�?�?éěíňóřšťúůýž? (Firefox users can. Sometimes.)

The deal is that ř doesn’t come out as ř as easily as I would like. I could fiddle with my browser language settings, but I know that you’re not going to.

Here’s how to count to ten in Czech:

jedna, dvě, tři, čtyři, pět, šest, sedm, osm, devět, deset

Tin Foiled Technology

First Chocolate Bar Bribees

September 20th, 2004

I officially recognize that I owe Lisa and Glenn each a Czech chocolate bar, on account of their moving to Firefox (and subsequent abandonment of Internet Explorer).

Any other takers?

UPDATE: And while on the subject, check out http://browsehappy.com/.

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CDtheque

September 16th, 2004

Here’s the deal — they have an awesome CD lending library at work. I worked my way into the inner sanctum and went on the CD purchasing trip with them today.

Imagine going into the FNAC (French CD and book shop) and buying anything you wanted. You’d think it would be easy… and sure, it isn’t that hard.

Here’s what I got:

Badly Drawn Boy, One Plus One Is One
Cowboy Junkies, One Soul Now
Keane, Hopes And Fears
Kings Of Convenience, Riot On Empty Street
Kosheen, Kokopelli
Mr Scruff, Keep It Unreal
The Bees, Free The Bee’s
The Libertines, The Libertines
The Shins, Chutes too Narrow
Red Hot Chili Peppers, Live in Hyde Park

The best part was when we got to the check out and realized that we hadn’t spent enough, so we had to rush back and each pick up three more CDs to add to our order.

Hooray for CDtheques!

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Brazen Bribe for Firefox

September 16th, 2004

I clued in to the horror. And the shame.

My friends, Gilman, Karl and potentially Snowy — you are using Internet Explorer, the browser that won the war by being preinstalled on your PC, so’s you could browse that thar intarweb all simple-like.

I clicked for the first time in ages on that little, blue, not-uninstallable “e” at the bottom of the page, and verified that Internet Explorer does not render my pages correctly. The sidebar text is misaligned, as you claimed.

Instead of railing against Internet Explorer (and there are dozens of reasons to do so), I’m going to suggest an alternative and a bribe to use it, and a little history along the way.

Firefox has an excellent pedigree. It comes from Mozilla, which is an open source group that has its origins in the first web browser (NCSA Mosaic), which then evolved into Netscape. Anyone remember the first Netscape throbber? It was a giant, pulsing N. This was way before the dot.com boom — it was back when Microsoft was betting the Internet would go away. At this point, you had to install a third-party TCP/IP stack into Windows.

Subsequently, Microsoft realized that this Internet thing was a money maker (and failed to derail it with it’s own dial-in network called MSN — shades of a bulletin board system, not the MSN that we know today). They introduced a truly crappy web browser called Internet Explorer.

At the same time, Netscape realized that this operating system thing was a money maker, and decided to make their web browser into a complete client platform with bells and whistles up the wazoo.

While Netscape was playing with calendars and email clients and messengers and composers, Internet Explorer caught up (and passed them) in quality. Microsoft integrated it heavily into their OS and proved in an antitrust suit that it was impossible to uninstall it without crippling the rest of Windows.

Netscape, having lost the Browser Wars, responded by giving away the source code to their product to the public. The Mozilla Project was born, and with the input of thousands of open source developers, the Mozilla browser leapt far ahead of Internet Explorer in terms of quality.

At this point, Microsoft owns the browser market, and have kept their winning Internet Explorer unchanged for years. Web sites are designed with the bugs and quirks of Internet Explorer as the standard, instead of adhering to the open specifications of the W3C… but now I’m in danger of railing.

Firefox is the newest volley from the Mozilla team. It’s the leanest, fastest browser out there, and one of the most compliant to web standards.

And blah blah blah, cut to the bargain: just follow that link up there, install it and use it instead of IE, and I’ll give you a Czech chocolate bar. Sufficient?

No Firefox, no chocolate bar, and trust me — they have funny Czech names.

Tin Foiled Technology

62. Prague

September 13th, 2004

Well, summer is winding down, and I’ve been scrooging my vacation days away for Christmas. Apart from the business trip to Washington (where I stayed locked inside the hotel room) and a couple of weekends with Mom and Dad, I really haven’t done much travelling this year. Fortunately, Justine and Shelley had already organized a trip to Prague this weekend — all the arrangements were already made, and all I had to do was book a flight.

Read more…

Tin Foiled Travel