Who wants a Loaft?
What is a loaft, you ask? It’s something I invented. It has aspects of a gift and a loan.
A gift comes right from the heart-organ, is given freely and without conditions, and nothing is asked in return. A loan is provided for a duration and assumes a return in good condition to the rightful owner. You can politely ask for a loan, but you can’t politely ask for a gift. A loan is usually something you want, while a gift could be any damn thing (both gifter and giftee are taking their chances).
A loaft combines the worst of both. You get something that you might or might not want. You’re free to use it, but have the burden of returning it with reasonable wear and tear.
My rules of etiquette dictate that it’s okay to respond truthfully to the following blanket question: who wants a loaft? Only people that I’m planning on seeing at Christmas (and who are willing to give me their address) are eligible!
GKarlsen
Holy Smokes!!!
You have made me an offer I cannot refuse but must not accept. I accept.
Personal details have been sent separately in a private message to the loaftmaster.
Hooray for loaftes!
Hmmm….
I’d like your seemingly sunny disposition. Could you loaft it to me? Or, have I completely contravened the loafting conventions by specifying something in particular?
I promise to return it, I’m not sure what would constitue reasonable wear and tear on a disposition. But, I think the burden would be on you to prove that I’d abused it.
Deal?
My motivation for this loaft thing was to amuse my friends with things that I wanted to purchase online for myself. At the very least, the loaftee gets the pleasure of opening a package (and using whatever’s inside if it’s boat-floating).
As it turns out, if I have it shipped to Medicine Hat, I don’t have to pay any stinking PST! Isn’t that something?
I’m sure that you can see why I’m closing the loaft offer to my hideous fellow BC pig-smellies. In fact, taking it back is entirely in the spirit of the loaft.
Well, not that mean. There might be one or two things in the mail…
Then again, the loaft offer is still open if (1) I’ll be seeing you at Christmas, (2) you’re willing to give me your address and (3) you have a shipping address in Alberta.
Pig-smellies.
hehe I figured it was something you would want me to cart home;) hahahah. If you need something sent to the states, you know you can always send it here.
Correct me if I’m wrong, but this whole “Loaft-ing” business just sounds like Parisian double-speak for “insiduous smuggling ring”. You can honey-coat it all you like Monsieur Skraba, but using your own friends for your diabolical/illegal world domination plots! And then insulting the BC-ites. The nerve!
Also, are you certain that Loomer is planning on creating his blog with the name: “oicupoteaguvnor”? I think you’re actually mixing your Australian and South-London accents there a bit.
Hey, I’ve listened to The Streets, so I know what an English accent sounds like, guv. As for the insiduous smuggling, well, all I can say is NO LOAFT FOR YOU, troublemaker.
Ahem. “Oh, will not someone rid me of this troublesome lackabout?” Hmm? Hmm? No one? Damn.
If someone wants to amazon-loaft something PST-free to Alberta, let me know. Keep in mind that I get to open and watch/read it!