I am such a jerk
So Rob and Adele are visiting. They are both photographers travelling Europe for months on end, taking pictures of hotels. They are used to handling very nice equipment worth a lot of money.
I’m giving a pre-Christmas dinner party at my place, and invite them to join us as last-minute guest stars. I give them hell for arriving exactly on time. How rude — I wasn’t expecting the first guest for another fifteen minutes!
So I pick up Rob’s camera and remark how heavy it is. I pass him my little digital camera to see the difference (he humours me, as if he hasn’t held a bazillion crappy consumer digital cameras in his life). But, whoops, butterfingers! It drops and lands on the floor with a loud crack, consistent with my crappy carpeting.
I gasp in horror, and their professional photographer eyes bug.
Of course, it was my old and irreparable camera, with the salt-water corroded CCD.
I laugh and laugh and laugh. Man, I’m SUCH a dick.
Anyway, they had brought a lovely St. Emilion Bordeaux that was far too good for the aperatif — it far out-classed the new Beaujolais that I had. The entrée was raviolis that I had purchased from an Italian epicerie and outrageously claimed as my own handiwork, followed by quiche and andouille furnished by Antonio and Anna. Then it was roast beef accompanied by broccoli and fine British Columbia Merlots, followed by cheeses (nothing special because the fromagerie down the street was closed). Sylvain had brought a delicious home-made apple pie that I outrageously claimed as my own handiwork. Then coffee. I had picked up some Porto for the digestif, but we never actually got around to it.
Also, I finished watching Logan’s Run this weekend. It sucked, and not in that way that makes it rewatchable. Excepting the retro-future jet-pack set design, of course.
GKarlsen
Holy Smokes!!!
Nice segue from fine wine to Logan’s Run! Say hi to Rob for me.
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You are a jerk! A big huge – inviting people over and feeding them good food – type jerk. The kind of jackass who makes people feel at home and takes them in where they are far from home.
I feel bad that we didn’t point out that in addition to Logan’s Run being an amusing idea, it is a truly sucky movie with cheap-looking effects. Now here’s a fact: Logan’s Run was made in 1976 and won an Oscar for Special Effects! But Star Wars came out the next year – and there was no going back: you couldn’t make futuristic sucky movies anymore. Logan’s Run and Star Wars look like they were made 30 years apart by different cultures.
Paul and I watched a futuristic yet retro debate between “Ghost Marx” and “Ghost Rockefeller” on the merits of capitalism vs. socialism the other day – and it was very much in the style of Logan’s Run – and therefore unbelievably amusing (it was made for CBS in 1977). The ghosts were sent back to the void before a decision could be reached on which side won (though all signs suggest that communism eked out a narrow win).
Speaking of communism, there’s an Alberta Provincial Election today – the Conservatives are going for a 10th consecutive term – and they’ll win easily. The NDP hope to become the official opposition.
I forgot about the Ghost Marx vs. Ghost Rockefeller thing – that was awesome!
Hehe. Apparently you can make a photographer’s heart skip a beat by dropping any camera.
It’s funny, because you could stuff mobile phones by the thousands into paper shredders and I would find it hard to even wonder why I don’t care.
The problem I had with Logan’s Run wasn’t the crappy special effects. Those were the best part! Logan and Jessica would go someplace, and I couldn’t figure out why, then they’d stay there too long chatting, then leave for No Raisin.
The best character was Box the Irrelevant Robot: “Fish, sea greens, plankton and protein from the sea!”
Enough about the glorious dinner, splendorous wine, and resplendent guests…what happened to the camera?
Have your guests discovered your secret…have they abducted you? Where have you gone?
The camera that I dropped was the one that got wet while diving. It is much the same as my current camera, but borked. SO borked that I just use it as a prop to mess up photographers’ nerves.