The Ryndex

Alright, so it turns out that Beautiful People get more than fifteen minutes. As it turns out, they’re actually better at everything (and everyone) they do. Who knew? For the pretty faces that just got bad news from a certain Finnish phone manufacturer, keep your spirits up! Apparently, people over 6’2″ make up about 4% of the population, but nearly a third of CEOs.

But I’d like to talk about something much less superficial, something closer to home. Fashion is transient. Today it’s a dark velvet blazer over an untucked shirt and jeans, tomorrow it’ll be carefully sheveled anti-bohemian tweeds. There’s more important things than how you look on the outside.

Of course, I’m speaking about underwear.

Let’s discard the boxers right away. They are flappy, bunchy monstrosities. The only way to make them more uncomfortable would be to make them out of flannel so that they can be itchy and sweaty as well. The only reason to have them is if you’re trying to conceive, or if your girlfriend wants to borrow them (note that I’ve solved both those problems quite neatly).

One of the alternatives is boxer-briefs, which are fitted boxers providing ample coverage for modesty and comfortable support. I’m currently firmly in this category — I picked a cheap brand (Hanes) and a couple dozen pairs in a variety of colours. I avoid white because they’re too difficult to keep looking new, especially without a dryer.

The problem, of course, is that I have skinny chicken legs, so boxer-briefs end up being baggy anyway. God forbid that you ever see me in spandex. Combine that with the fact that I can actually afford nice underwear — well, obviously it’s time for a change.

A very wise friend once said that you should never underestimate the importance of power underwear.

For those of you that aren’t horrified by underwear models, there’s a good selection here and here. Comments? Opinions? What’s the deal with microfiber?