This post relates to Gilman’s Model: The Fotonovel.
RYAN: Green, here, claims to be “sorry” that my uncle is dead. But he hardly seems sorry — in the industry, it’s what we call foreshadowing.
ALAIN: I was never happy with this scene. We filmed it once with the acteurs screaming their lines while breathing in, then threaded the video backwards and redubbed.
RYAN: Of course, you can’t thread video backwards. We wrecked the cassette and spoiled the day’s footage, and had to have the camera repaired. (chuckles)
ALAIN: (joins chuckling) That’s right. Well, a film should be a lesson to those engaging IN it’s creation, as well as those engaged BY it.
RYAN: Seriously.
ALAIN: Look here, you can see Ryan trying to remember if he’s supposed to recite his line while he’s breathing in or out. Exhale and talk, Dr. Ward! Exhale and talk.
RYAN: And don’t miss the painting on the wall behind me. That’s from the original scenery concept designs — one of the ‘haunted’ chalets we turned down for being too unrealistic.
ALAIN: Point your finger in a lawyerly fashion, Mr. Green, and on to the pivotal scene…
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This post relates to Gilman’s Model: The Fotonovel.
ALAIN: This is the strongest ensemble scene in my entire corps of short and feature films, if not the strongest ensemble scene ever filmed. Or even envisionable. The chemistry between the acteurs is perfect — a delicate dance of glances, of things said and unsaid, of wishes unwished and dreams undreamed.
RYAN: Now, why did I introduce myself as Keziah here?
ALAIN: Ah, yes. That was a particularly subtle moment. Is it misleading, and/or is it the point? It is a rich metaphor. Perhaps the richest.
RYAN: Right, but why is it subtle? Why is it a metaphor? What does it mean?
ALAIN: Exactly.
RYAN: I had to really use the washroom for most of this scene.
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This post relates to Gilman’s Model: The Fotonovel. Some writing credits belong to G. Crofton.
GEOFFREY: Where did you find these actors?
ALAIN: These were not actors – I don’t think they realized we were making a movie.
RYAN: One of them stole my hat!
ALAIN: That was unscripted.
GEOFFREY: The one on the left looks familiar.
ALAIN: He shouldn’t.
GEOFFREY: But he does.
ALAIN: But he shouldn’t.
RYAN: Isn’t that…
ALAIN: No.
DERMOTT: [shouting] Als Sie das Produkt in den Warenkorb legten, wurde es korrekterweise als lieferbar angezeigt! Wenn edoch jemand anders in der Zeit zwischen Ihrem Hineinlegen des Produkts in den Warenkorb und Ihrer Bestellabsendung dasselbe Produkt bestellt hat und der ausgewaehlte Artikel der Letzte in der jeweiligen Groesse und Farbe gewesen war, kann Ihre Bestellung nicht ausgeliefert werden?!
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ALAIN: Here we finally see another living person — or do we? You can’t see much of the hands, but what you see is mystifying. Who is it? Why is he eating a frozen sausage. Are those beets pickled or just cooked?
GEOFFREY: I’m surprised you made me eat this after each take.
ALAIN: That was essential for your character development.
RYAN: But why did I have to eat it as well?
ALAIN: I am not on trial here.
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This post relates to Gilman’s Model: The Fotonovel.
ALAIN: The journey continues. You’ll notice that the lines in this shot exist strictly within Euclidean geometry. Coincidence? Or foreshadowing? When the art director has done his job well, you can never be quite sure he’s done anything at all.
RYAN: While filming this shot, I remember having “Leaving on a Jetplane” running through my head, so I’m shaking my groove thang just a little bit. I’m surprised that they chose this take.
ALAIN: That’s exactly why we chose this take.
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This post relates to Gilman’s Model: The Fotonovel.
ALAIN: Yes, the mural is a crucible within which the firm metal of Doctor Ward’s links with his own past are moltened…
RYAN: melted…
ALAIN: Right, melted. Well, not really, because the mural isn’t sufficient to really melt his belief in reality, but in his mind, what used to be concrete is less so. Slightly plastic, in fact. Nothing is as it seems. You’d be surprised who we got to do the artwork.
RYAN: We can’t mention him…
ALAIN: or her…
RYAN: yeah, or her, by name for contractual reasons. She did an excellent job, a job to be proud of, but in the end she was afraid that it would adversely affect her baby calendar business.
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This post relates to Gilman’s Model: The Fotonovel.
ALAIN: The scene continues and Doctor Ward examines the fisherman’s shack.
RYAN: Err, was that supposed to be a fisherman’s shack? I don’t remember that.
GEOFFREY: May I jump in here to mention…
ALAIN: Of course, it was a fisherman’s shack. It was on the dock, wasn’t it?
RYAN: Yes, but it was clearly insane. I thought it was a unexplained metaphorical cloakroom. You know, “check your sanity at the door”.
ALAIN: The set design clearly indicates that this is a rusted fisherman’s shack. The original version had a fish and chip shop, but we dropped that as being out of our budget.
RYAN: Maybe you could tell us more about the mural?
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This post relates to Gilman’s Model: The Fotonovel.
RYAN: This is a pivotal scene, showing layers and layers of Dr. Ward’s character. An acteur can’t disassociate himself completely from his character, so underneath all the layers is just me. So, here, underneath the confusion and quizzical-ness and placidity…
ALAIN: and confusion! Ha ha ha!
RYAN: yes, and confusion, you see a bit of me — just wondering. You know, wondering what it’s all about.
ALAIN: This shot was entirely CGI.
RYAN: Hmmm. I didn’t know that.
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This post relates to Gilman’s Model: The Fotonovel.
RYAN: Alright, this is my big entry. I remember spending weeks with Alain trying to get my characterization just right, and finally he said to me, “Ryan, just try to look as if you aren’t sure what the words in the script mean.” That nailed the character down for me — the sense of being lost, floating, and biting the inside of your cheek in vague confusion.
ALAIN: We did the voice-over well after filming, of course. It sounds like it’s being read off of a crumpled piece of paper in a basement bathroom, but that’s deliberate. We went through three crumpled pieces of paper until we found just the right one.
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This post relates to Gilman’s Model: The Fotonovel.
RYAN: Hello, I’m Ryan Skraba, and I’m here with some of the cast and crew from the filming. Lots of old faces here today, and we are particularly lucky to have the elusive Alain de Smithee on a high fidelity line from France. Are you there, Alain?
ALAIN: Damn you all!
RYAN: Great, great! The extradition process still hasn’t caught up to you?
ALAIN: Man do I hate that question. And almost every bleedin’ person I know is guilty of asking it if (s)he hasn’t seen in me in more than 5 days. In fact, I have to often bite my tongue to make sure I don’t ask it of others.
RYAN: Excellent. Oh wait, watch this bit — see how everything swirls as it fades in and out? That’s not an easy effect. Too much swirl and you’re all like “gagaga?” And I understand that the motion of the water was actually filmed IN REVERSE.
ALAIN: Thanks to modern techniques, I have captured it on hidden video.
RYAN: Alain, I understand that in making this film as the sole director and producer, much of the artistic tension in the film came from your legendary internal battles between your ego and your id.
ALAIN: Id is trying to make it more Raiders-of-the-Lost-Ark-ish, while Ego’s coming in with an Apocalypse-Now-show theme. Where the two pies collide, there shall be a very fishy-ish surprise.
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